A short letter today after the longest travel journey (92 hours!) I've ever experienced. To say it was emotionally draining would be an understatement. 

The stories from it will be something I'll remember for the rest of my life. One day I'll write about it. But for now, time to enjoy some beers together.

And to Josh and Francisco. Thank you. A reminder that friends can move mountains and make magic happen.

Let me leave you with a popular Costa Rican phrase.

Pura Vida - an expression of happiness, optimism, and living life to the fullest. 

Enjoy the dance,

Nate

There is a phenomenon in the corporate world called the ‘Peter Principle’. It theorizes that we are all promoted to our level of incompetence. The result is that over time, many positions end up being filled by people who do not have the skills necessary to perform well in that role.

To put it more simply - there is a wide range of talent for any given position. Some employees will be very good, and others not so much.

This can be frustrating in your corporate journey. You’ll inevitably have a person in a position that is one level above yours that is not great at their job.

Once when I was approaching a promotion cycle, I said something to a colleague along the lines of “well, if this person is a level 7 - surely I should be too”.

My colleague quickly put me in my place. She called out my insecurity and gave me feedback about how immature it is to compare myself to others in this way. I was embarrassed.

Over the next few years, I started noticing other employees make comments using the same reasoning. They looked petty. In addition, it ended up working against them in any subsequent promotion discussion.

The bottom line is - don’t compare yourself to the lowest performers. Better yet, be content with being yourself.

Let me leave you with a quote and a question.

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everyone will respect you.”

Lao Tzu

Are you content right now?

Enjoy the dance,

Nate

80% of Fortune 500 companies use personality tests to help their employees better understand themselves and their co-workers. This is up 6x over the past two decades. Most view it as a relatively cheap team-building exercise, and new types of tests continue to emerge each year. 

I tried counting all of the ones I’ve taken, and the list hit double digits. If you haven’t had one yet at KPMG, you will soon - and likely most years after.

Regardless of the test type - the basic premise is to:

1. Help you become aware of your blind spots, and 

2. Encourage you to share your working style with others

To help visualize this, a couple of psychologists created a simple 2x2 in the 1950s and coined it the “Johari Window” (a combination of their first names).

After taking the test (and hopefully learning something about yourself), the “Open” square should increase as you have decreased your “Blind” spots. If you do it in a group and share learnings with others, then the “Hidden” square should reduce a well.

Now all of this sounds great, and trust me - the tests can be fun and insightful if done well. One problem I see repeatedly emerge, though, is co-workers overlooking the nuance in personalities. They oversimplify their views of others to the mere categories the test provides.

At Uber, we used a test where four different colors defined your primary personality. After teams took the test, I’d sometimes hear in conversations, “She’s Yellow, so she doesn’t know the numbers. We’ll just pair her with a Blue.” Or “He’s Red, so that means he can come across as an asshole, but he gets things done.”

Essentially what was a valuable exercise to help you discover some blind spots and build new connections with co-workers became a way to box others (or themselves) into simplistic ways of thinking.

Don’t let this happen to you. When the tests come - take them and pull an insight or two away. But don’t stress the results or read too much into them. You’ll end up taking more than your fair share of these over your career.

Let me leave you with a quote and question

To simplify before you understand the details is ignorance. 

To simplify after you understand the details is genius.

-James Clear

When was the last time you took a personality test? What did you learn?

Enjoy the dance,

Nate

P.S. If you’re looking for a good free test - try the Enneagram Test. It’s a bit more on the personal side (vs. work-related), but one of the better ones out there.

Let's talk about "invented metrics." Essentially a simple metric (e.g., revenue, profit, etc.) that increases in complexity on how it is calculated - usually as the business grows and becomes more politicized.

Fake internal metrics can destroy the value of a company overnight. Just look at WeWork as an example. They measured their performance based on an invented profit metric called "community adjusted EBITDA." It took out essential cost items, including marketing and most operational expenses. They were supposed to IPO for $50B and lost 90% of their value in a few days after it caught up to them.

These metrics seem innocent at first. Always well-intentioned, but usually with a key benefactor. It inflates one team's performance over another. 

We had a marketing team at Uber that got tired of measuring their simple customer acquisition costs and decided to make a new metric that took a 30-page slide deck to explain instead. It was confusing, and no one was clear on what it was. 

The only certainty is that their team seemed to perform well against the metric consistently. It kept enabling them to hire more people and spend more money. One time their performance against the metric started to flatten, so then they changed the metric again.

If this sounds like a red flag… It is.

An unfortunate by-product of fast-growing politicized organizations is that internal teams fight for resources. Either headcount or budget. Each team creates their scorecard for showing their "impact" on the company and is selective with the metrics they show.

How political a company becomes depends on the strength of the CEO or leadership team:

• Strong CEO = low politics. They are focused on the mission instead.

• Weak CEO = the opposite.

The point of all of this, brother, is to be aware of when it is happening. You can fool someone on invented metrics for only so long. Eventually, it catches up.

• Play fake games = invented metrics.

• Win fake prizes = approval from superiors you've fooled.

Let me leave you with a quote and a question

What gets measured gets managed

-Peter Drucker

Where do you see invented metrics at work? 

Enjoy the dance,

Nate

Sometimes you read the right book at the right time. This happened to me a few days ago when a friend recommended The Alchemist to me. A short fictional story of a shepherd boy in search of his destiny.

There are many profound themes within the book. One which stuck out to me was the courage the shepherd had to leave comfortable positions, usually to his short-term detriment, on his way to his ultimate objective.

It struck a chord with me. As you know, I recently left a very comfortable situation with Uber. A big role, with good money, and a great team. A promising career was still ahead, but it wasn't my destiny. It was never a matter of "if" I would leave, but rather "when."

Sometimes you can play out your entire career at a company. For you at KPMG, you can look to the Partners and ask yourself, is this the life you want and why. If that's not what you want, it's okay. It doesn't mean you should leave immediately, but rather clarify the specific tools you want to learn before embarking on the next chapter in your journey.

Throughout each of our chapters in our life, we pick up new experiences, connections, and learnings. Inevitably we apply them at future points in our journey. You won't know when or where, but when it happens, it will be obvious. You can only connect the dots looking backward. The point is to keep moving in the direction of your destiny.

As for my destiny - I believe it's entrepreneurship. I've dreamed of building businesses ever since I was selling golf balls on the side of the road as a young boy. My biggest nightmare is that I will never give it an all-in attempt. Forever labeling myself as a "wantrepreneur", and justifying how other roles were "like" being an entrepreneur.

Let me leave you with a quote and a question

People need not fear the unknown if they are capable of achieving what they need and want

-Allah

What's your destiny?

Enjoy the dance,

Nate

I was with an old friend this week, and we were reminiscing on our early corporate days. Multiple themes emerged, including us both gaining weight. We've all heard of the "Freshman 15", but it's pretty common to have the "Uber 10", "KPMG 20", or name any company, and the following weight gain. 

Our metabolism slows as we age, and the constant eating out and drinking can have a way of sneaking up on you without you knowing it. Despite having a very average body, I always considered myself fit. It comes from high self-esteem and a supportive surrounding. The problem is that it clouded my awareness, and I never once felt my body slipping. 

When I moved to Kenya, it was the peak of my stress. I was eating takeout almost every night, and I had minimal workouts as "I just didn't have the time." One day I arrived at the office, and one of my employees put his arm around me and, in an energetic tone, said, 

"Whoa - Nate - the Lions are eating well!"

I was shocked. Was he calling me fat in front of the entire office?! I soon found out that he meant it as a compliment. Full cheeks in Kenya are a sign of prosperity and wealth, meaning that you have no problem putting food on the table. Unfortunately, I didn't see it in the same way.

Even after this incident, I denied that I was getting bigger. It took an unflattering photo of me in my swimsuit not long after for it to hit me… I got fat.

This is not an uncommon situation (getting fat), especially amongst men early in their careers. The environment is ripe for weight gain—consistent stress, business travel, eating out with employees/clients, and full days of meetings. 

The choices you make after this moment, though, can define the rest of your life. You can either embrace the "Dad Bod" or build healthy habits as a priority. As Naval states,

There is nothing like a health problem to turn up the contrast dial for the rest of life. 

Let me leave you with a quote and a question

"Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life." 

-Jerzy Gregorek

What's the consequence of /not/ getting into shape?

Enjoy the dance,

Nate

If it’s not done before noon, it’s not done at all.

I’m not sure where the phrase comes from, but I relate to it when it comes to work requiring brainpower. During my last few years at Uber, I never did meetings before 11 am (most days, even noon). I was up much earlier, but this was my time to “Get Shit Done.”

I would tackle my biggest items for the day and felt accomplished before the barrage of meetings and “perceived fires” that would inevitably emerge. Also, I’m just sharper in the morning. My mind is fresh without the noise and fatigue that comes throughout the day. 

Jeff Bezos (Amazon), Daniel Ek (Spotify), and many other A-class CEOs plan their most important decisions around 10 am - when they are most sharp. Bezos goes even further and prevents himself from making any big decisions after 5 pm. It gets pushed to the next day.

I guess that’s what they mean when they say, “let me sleep on it.”

I’m sure some will claim they are evening people, implying this doesn’t apply to them. The broader point is to carve out time when you are fresh and reserve it for yourself. 

Let me leave you with a quote and a question

“Lose an hour in the morning, and you will spend all day looking for it.”

 -Richard Whately

When is your mind most sharp? 

Enjoy the dance,

Nate

"Avoid Boring People"

Three words and two meanings. Most people understand the first (i.e., be around interesting people), some don't get the second (i.e., be interesting yourself, so you don't ‘bore’ others).

The quote comes from James Watson, the guy who co-discovered DNA. There isn't a deeper connection I'm aware of with the phrase and DNA, but it's a fun fact nonetheless.

These last few weeks, I've been lucky to travel across Jordan and Egypt and hang out with some incredible people. Entrepreneurs, diplomats, tour guides, free-divers, DJs, and triathletes. Many of them fit multiple definitions.

When engaging with them, I'm reminded of how much time and identity Uber took from me. As I met new people, they'd ask me what I do… and it was tough for me to respond. Currently, I'm an unemployed aspiring entrepreneur (or writer) who spent the last decade giving 120% to the companies I've worked for.

If you are working 120% of the time on a company - it also owns many of your interests. It's great if that is your own company (like Dad's or any of the other entrepreneurs), but giving founder-like energy to someone else's likely isn't worth it in the long run.

It's a reminder always to make time to do interesting stuff. It's a broad definition and personal to each of us - with a magnetic benefit. Do interesting stuff, and others will find you.

Beyond your activities, make sure to inquire about others. Build momentum in conversations and stay engaged when others talk about their interests. Listen intently. You never know what you'll discover.

Let me leave you with a quote and a question

"Talk to someone about themselves, and they'll listen for hours."

-Dale Carnegie

What interests of yours drive your identity?

Enjoy the dance,

Nate

"One is a tragedy; one million is a statistic."

I first heard this phrase when watching a TV show with Grandma. The plot was about a group of people who fabricated a fake story to gain leverage on a foreign leader. It worked.

The quote is attributed to Joseph Stalin, who said it in the context of death and hunger. "If one man dies of hunger - that's a tragedy; if one million die of hunger - that's a statistic." Imagine if a political leader said that today in the context of Covid…

The quote resurfaced itself during my time at Uber as Country General Managers would go through media training. Yes, this exists. Essentially reporters who train businessman how to dodge and reframe tough questions and build narratives to influence others.

One of the key lessons we learned is that numbers are boring. People, whether it's the media or regulators, want to hear stories.

For me, in Kenya, no one cared to hear about the 5,000 jobs we created in less than 12 months. Nope. They wanted to hear about Esther, the single mother who worked her way out of poverty driving for Uber. About how she earned enough to pay her son's school fees and ultimately surprise him with a bike on his birthday. About how she found success on the platform, eventually building up a small fleet of cars and changing her life for the better.

I was always good with numbers, and it was my go-to for building influential arguments before. I was a "data-driven storyteller." The issue is, it's much more effective to lean in on the emotional side.

Let me leave you with a quote and a question.

"Those who tell the stories rule the world."

-Native American Proverb

Where have you seen the “one is a tragedy, one million is a statistic” concept play out recently?

Enjoy the dance,

Nate

A little over six years ago, I took a trip to Nepal for a long weekend with some co-workers. I had recently moved to Dubai to start working at Uber. I didn't know anyone in the region and was excited to have been invited on the trip.

We ended up traveling in an old bus into a rural mountainous area. We joined with some of my co-workers' friends and rented a small cottage. On Saturday morning, we ate outside as a group as we prepared for a long hike. We took turns using the small washroom inside to get ready. 

When it was my turn, I was brushing my teeth when the lights started to flicker. Then I began to feel a slight rumble as I assumed someone turned on a generator. The rumbling quickly turned to a thunderous shake, the floor started to move, and I realized this was something much bigger. 

I darted down the stairs as the walls cracked, and I could hear the ceiling tiles start to fall. I narrowly escaped through the ground-floor doorway as the side of the cottage crumbled into the courtyard. As the group gathered themselves, one of them asked me if I was OK. I was standing there shell-shocked, with the buzz of my electric toothbrush going still in my hand.

We had just experienced a 7.8 magnitude earthquake. We were stranded. 

Who do you call in this situation? As the hours passed and we started to regain service, I posted to Facebook with a simple message. "Re: Nepal Earthquake. I'm OK". 

My manager saw this and commented, asking for help to get our parent's contact information. He then went to the highest levels within the company to organize support for us. They sent us a helicopter.

This extraction was coordinated by a former Dutch Military person who would give our Mom updates every hour on the hour. After more than a day passed, Mom asked if he's slept yet. His response - "I won't sleep until your son is returned home safely."

So what's the moral of this story? 

I'm lucky to be safe? Yes. I had a great manager? Of course. The company treated us very well? Without a doubt.

The thing is, brother - I was less than six months into the role, an individual contributor, on a personal vacation. It didn't matter that I wasn't a senior employee and it wasn't a work trip. Uber didn't care. It was clear - get our people out 'safe and sound' at all costs. 

This support was something special, and it helped create a deep love for the company in me that lasted many years. 

Many of my early colleagues also have stories where their love for the company was cemented. It was a community where you'd welcomed the opportunity to take out visiting employees, and it was normal that company swag filled half of your wardrobe.

As time went on and the company got bigger, this feeling started to fade. Many of those early colleagues went searching for that feeling again. Most failed to find it. It's rare. I don't think it's something you can search for. 

We were lucky to be part of it, and I hope one day to have it again. If you're fortunate to find yourself at a company where you have it. Cherish it. It won't last forever.

Let me leave you with a quote.

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

Dr. Suess 

Enjoy the dance,

Nate

Today's letter is about finding the balance between planning and action. Whether it's in your personal life or business, planning can be a helpful tool in focusing your energy and attention. Too much planning, though, will create inflexibility and delay.

At Uber, I had my team go through a large planning cycle every six months where we'd align on "what" we are trying to achieve and "how" we propose to get there. Without fail, some teams would come to me after one month and say that everything's changed and we need to redo our plans. What they meant, though, is that we just needed to change the "how."

Jeff Bezos is quoted saying that "business plans don't survive their first encounter with reality."

There is truth to this. Last year all of our plans were thrown out the window when an unknown Covid pandemic swept the globe. Even when the world was less hectic, there is always something that will cause even small shifts to what we set out to do.

So, where do you draw the line when planning? 

The most important thing is to align on the vision or goal. Bezos would frame this question by asking himself what won't change in the next ten years? For Amazon, it was (1) fast delivery and (2) low prices. For Uber Eats, it was a good selection in addition to the other two I just mentioned.

When it comes to planning out the details - this is where you need to be flexible. Things will change. You have decent clarity of what needs to be done for the next few weeks, but it gets murkier as you go from weeks to months. Don't stress the things you can't control. Just ensure that what you are doing aligns with the overall vision. 

This takes me to my final point. Take action. There is a mismatch in what we think we need to get started vs. what we actually need. Once we start taking those first steps, we learn to adapt and allow for flexibility in our plans. 

Let me leave you with a quote and a question.

"If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you'll never get it done."

-Bruce Lee

Where are you spending too much time planning?

Enjoy the dance,

Nate

I'm in the process of "de-uberizing" myself at the moment… at least trying to. My access was cut to all of the company systems this past week, right as I began my quarantine in a Minsk hotel.

You'd think this would have been the perfect opportunity to start focusing on personal growth with this newfound time. My issue is that noise quickly filled the void. Despite having virtually no obligations, I found myself "busy" at all times with menial things on the computer. Usually, a Twitter or Reddit deep dive into the latest stock or crypto craze...

My unemployment was supposed to be relaxing, but I continued to find myself stressed where even the latest Netflix series we watched started to feel like a task to get through.

Upon reflection, I was reminded of another time I felt this sort of "busyness" last summer. When this happened, my coach helped me realize I didn't have enough "analog" in my life.

Analog can be a lot of things, but to simplify - let's say it's most things that are not in front of the computer—being in nature, meditation, reading books, journaling, etc. 

Last year, Katia and I decided to take a journaling course called Morning Pages by Julia Cameron. It's simple. You journal (by hand) three pages worth of content each morning. It doesn't matter what you write, just that you do it.

As I'd write and the words started to flow, I found myself releasing noise and getting clearer with my thoughts. They say clear writing is clear thinking. What they don't tell you, though, is that it takes a lot of messy writing to get to clear writing later.

So my thoughts aren't clear yet, but I've picked up the pen and started journaling again. Let's see where this goes.

Let me leave you with a fun fact.

Ed Sheeran (musician) and Neil Gaiman (author) have a similar creative process where they view their ideas as a clogged water pipe. To open the flow, they write down their ideas. The first ideas are not great (e.g., dirty water), but after a while the pipe is unclogged, and clear water flows.

Enjoy the dance,

Nate

The message today is simple. Read. Read things that you enjoy, so that you enjoy reading. Naval Ravikant changed my opinion on books from a vanity achievement metric (e.g., how many I've read), to learning concepts that I can apply to my daily life. 

Since college, I've been an active reader. There are periods where I've read a lot and dry spells where I doom scroll social media instead. Upon reflection, these dry spells were marked by a common theme. I was struggling through a book I didn't like.

Giving yourself permission not to finish a book is tough. At first, I'd speed read sections I didn't like. Then I'd move to skim the pages for the sole purpose of turning them. Finally, I allowed myself to set it down. It was liberating. More books are published each day (~3k) than we will read in a lifetime. Life is too short to spend it reading something that doesn't pique our interest. 

You should read the best book for you at any given time, where you want to dive in each chance you get. Freakonomics was the first book I remember devouring as an adult. This is the feeling you want when reading.

The benefits are profound. It makes us smarter at work and more interesting in our personal lives. 

Our days are filled with noise. At work, it's constant email updates that are too long and self-promoting. Recently, a close colleague of mine started reading great books every morning before the workday began. It was noticeable. He elevated his thoughts above the rest of us. When I asked him about it, he stated,

"Yes - I'm starting my day reading words from Marcus Aurelius while you're opening up emails from XYZ."

Touché.  

In personal life, what we read becomes a topic of conversation with our friends and partners. We are challenged to share concepts simply with someone who hasn't read the book. A more challenging task than it seems. The reward? A deeper understanding of the material you've read. 

Some final tips that have helped me over the years. 

• The principle of reading before bed (even if it's just one page). 

• No TV in the bedroom (Netflix isn't as good on the laptop). 

• Realizing that most non-fiction books should be shorter (80/20 rule) - permitting me to skim past redundant parts

• Understanding that finishing a book is optional.

Let me leave you with a quote and a question.

The books you read will profoundly change you, even though you'll forget the vast majority of what you read. 

-David Perell 

What was the last book you devoured? 

Enjoy the dance,

Nate

In letter 15, we talked about doing a "Prior Year Review" and "2021 Intentions". Now that we've just finished Q1, this is a good opportunity to review the quarter and check in on your intentions.

Over the past couple of years, I've gotten in the habit of doing this "Prior Year Review" and "Intention Setting" quarterly (instead of yearly). It's partially because I'm a nerd for these types of goal-setting activities, but it also gives me an excuse for a long weekend getaway with Katia. 

More importantly, though - things change. Doing the exercise may take a few hours now, but you make it up later with more focus on where you spend your time and energy over the next three months. Also, you can extract personal learnings on what's important for you… and therefore should be a priority.

As I shared before, "You don't learn from experience. You learn from reflecting on it". 

My approach for the check-in follows this process:

1. Go through your calendar for the past three months and write out the quarter's highlights and lowlights. Call out things that gave you energy and things that took it away.

2. Go back to your 2021 intentions and rate each of them between 1-10 (no 7's allowed), with a few words or short sentences for why you gave yourself that score.

3. For items 6 and below, ask yourself if this is truly a priority? If not, scratch it from your next quarter's intentions.

4. Look ahead and ask yourself what the things you want to accomplish in the next three months are. Write them all down. 

5. Refine and group them into categories.

For this past quarter, I've realized some things are just not a priority. We had grand ambitions for a bathroom remodel in which we made very little progress. I did replace a shower head… but I'm far from being the next Tim "The Toolman" from Home Improvement. 

Other elements were better, namely this newsletter that I continued to send out every Sunday, or meditation which I continued regularly and learned a new form called Transcendental Meditation.

Because I know it's easier to see examples, I've included an abbreviated version of mine below for you to see (if you're interested). 

Let me leave you with a quote and a question.

"If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first."

-Mark Twain

What's your biggest priority for Q2?

Enjoy the dance,

Nate

Nate’s Q1 Review & Q2 Intentions

Q1 Review

• Routine (e.g., health): (8/10)

  • Learned TM, and meditated most days

  • Gyms closed. Didn't workout enough, but improvised with some YouTube workouts

  • Slept 8+ hours most nights

• Frogs & Tadpoles (e.g., admin): (4/10)

  • No progress on bathroom remodel, fired designer, couldn't lock in contractors, and almost all furniture delivery is delayed

  • Covid restrictions prevented driver theory exam

  • Solved many small admin tasks (e.g., passport, insurance, small home items)

• Notes2MB: (9/10)

  • Published every Sunday

  • Started sharing with more friends and colleagues

  • Time to complete each letter continues to shorten

• Avoid distractions: (6/10)

  • Spent too much time on Twitter, and total phone usage grew past 3 hrs/day

  • Check stock market too frequently and made some stupid day-trade bets

Q2 Intentions 

• Routine (e.g., health): "Continue healthy habits to give you energy each day"

  • Workout and meditate daily

  • Read before bed 

  • Get 8 hours of sleep

• Rest & Reflect: "Take the time to rest and reflect after a long Uber journey"

  • De-uberize self and write about biggest learnings

  • Explore some new countries and meet new people

  • Catch-up with old friends

• Learn: "Keep writing N2MB, and learn some new things (incl. being handy and no-code tools)"

  • Continue to grow N2MB, and take a writing course

  • Become handier around the house

  • Learn some basic no-code and creator economy tools

• Frogs & Tadpoles (e.g., admin): "Eat the biggest frogs (e.g., taxes) and a handful of tadpoles too"

  • Finalize NL and US taxes

  • Sort out Netherlands visa post-Uber

  • Pass NL drivers theory exam

  • … and many more small admin items :)

In letter 5, I told you how early in my career, I was part of a team that significantly raised my standards. Our key communication tool with our partners were slides, and throughout the process, I got very good at making them. 

It was a humbling experience where my manager would take a red sharpie to point out all of my mistakes. He wouldn't even read the content until the formatting hit a certain quality level. Then he'd challenge me to become more concise. Ultimately, my 20-page deck became only 4-pages at the end. I learned how to communicate complex ideas in a simple way - embracing "less is more." 

This skill carried with me. At my next company, the CEO and CFO treated me as their “secret weapon” for slides. I was 24 years old and got outsized exposure and 1:1s with the founder of a $500m company and a CFO who sold three companies by his mid-thirties.

I loved it. Anytime they needed slides to be made, I'd jump at the opportunity. I got to be in the room with them as they jammed on complex business situations - working hand in hand as they went through the process to convey their messages.

Some colleagues felt bad for me or would belittle my work. "Nate's just the slides guy," inferring I was doing intern work. At one time, I had the nickname "Natern."

When I went to Uber, I joined in a strategy role that supported the Regional General Manager. The RGM was a mini-CEO of a geographical region. A significant component of my work was… you guessed it… slides! Again, people felt sorry for me, and the "slides guy" references resurfaced. 

As they commented, though, I'd be in the room with my manager presenting to Travis Kalanick. Again, I got to see world-class thinkers, operators, and builders work through problems and share their business perspectives. It was the best learning opportunity I could've asked for. 

Over time, I got tapped for leadership opportunities, where I moved into country GM roles and ultimately the RGM for Uber Eats in EMEA (my first official seat at "The Table"). The point, though, is I had many years of being at "The Table" beforehand. Slides were my ticket in. And I made the most of having this specific skill set.

I continue to see colleagues belittle this type of work, refusing to build deep knowledge in one of the many tools available today (e.g., slides, excel, SQL, Python, etc.). These are the same colleagues that complain they don't have a seat at "The Table."

Over the years, I've identified my "secret weapons" who have strong knowledge in one or more of these tools. I'm sure some people will bicker about their exposure - maybe even make funny nicknames for them as well. They don't realize, though, that these colleagues are getting more learning opportunities and will get tapped sooner for future growth. 

Let me leave you with a quote and a question.

"One can only connect the dots looking backwards."

-Steve Jobs

What tools can you master that will make you a secret weapon at work?

Enjoy the dance,

Nate

In letter 21, I shared with you some tips about how to structure feedback. On that same note, I said that I'd share with you the best feedback I've ever received in a future letter. Here it is:

What:

• Maturity (i.e., stop caring so much about being the teacher's favorite student)

Why this is important:

• As a senior leader within the org, you are expected to be poised, thoughtful, and lead by example. 

• At times, it seems to me that you become emotional by things that don't matter much.

• For all the rationality and discipline you bring to your work, you don't always bring that to your thinking about human relationships or your own self-confidence. 

Examples:

• Being upset about me not giving enough positive feedback.

• Thinking I have a "favorite" direct report who exerts disproportionate influence over me.

How to improve/double down:

• Ask for feedback, and take it at face value. 

• Don't assume that someone is not candid unless proven otherwise.

• Try to see the value in your peers, even if they have a completely different working style than you.

This feedback was tough for me to swallow. I was called out for not being mature, and my manager at the time helped me realize a deep insecurity I have for seeking approval from others. I'd always been my manager's favorite (at least in my own mind), and in this set-up, I clearly was not. Even worse, I became jealous of another peer with whom I didn't eye-to-eye, as I assumed she was his "go-to" person.

Growing up in the US, we are not conditioned to get harsh feedback. Americans usually sandwich the tough message in-between two positives, and that's when they get the courage to share any negative feedback at all. In childhood, we were given trophies and ribbons even when we didn't win. We are a generation of conflict avoiders and "participation award" winners.

I've seen many people with high potential peak too early in their careers because of their blindspots. These blindspots form either because they reject negative feedback or don't actively seek it out enough. 

Becoming aware of our weaknesses is the best thing we can do for our growth. It's not easy to proactively ask for improvement feedback, and it stings when you hear it... usually because it's true. It starts to get better in time, but the sting never goes away completely. 

One of the best things I've done in my career is building trusted relationships with peers where we frequently give each other feedback. During my most significant growth periods, I was getting (and sharing) positive and negative feedback every week with friends and colleagues.

Let me leave you with a quote and a question.

"Let us be humble, and we will become wise. Let us know our weaknesses, as it will give us power." 

-William Channing

What are your current weaknesses?

Enjoy the dance,

Nate

I gave my final All-Hands speech to my team this past week. Yes, I am leaving Uber to start a new adventure, but more on that in later notes. I want to talk to you about people, which was the key message I tried to convey to my team.

"Great companies are built by great people who do great things."

My previous company's CEO would finish every All-Hands with this message, and it stuck with me as I now say it to my team as a nod to him. The bigger point, though, that I wanted to get across to my team is that "People are everything."

I made a call for them to recognize the connections that they are building with their colleagues. These bonds will last far beyond the company. Fate will bring many of them to work together again, in some capacity or another. Sometimes these connections go beyond work. They become deep friendships or even romantic. As you know, I met Katia at work.

When I look back on my somewhat short career, every single role I've done, I've had some connection either to the company or manager beforehand. It reinforces the adage of, "It's not what you know. It's who you know."

As I made my calls this past week to those about my news, it was clear that the list consisted of many former colleagues that are now friends. People will say that your alumni network is the best thing your company can give you.

The world is smaller than you think and more connected than you'd ever know. Each week I have some friend (e.g., previous colleague) reaching out about a reference, something to help on, or many times, a new exciting opportunity.

So my message is this. Build great connections. You're lucky to work in a company with a large group of young and ambitious people who will go on to do great things. Find the ones with high integrity, and they may become good friends as well.

Let me leave you with a quote and a question.

"People won't remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel."

-Maya Angelou 

Who are you building connections with?

Enjoy the dance,

Nate

You're young, just starting your career - and you may have noticed an age bias in your company. It's common. It comes both from young professionals who only want to be managed by the "seasoned leaders" and the "seasoned leaders" who look down at the young professionals as "kids."

What I want you to see, though, is that capabilities are greater than experience. Both in terms of how you should view potential managers and how you want them to view you. And ironically, searching for the up-and-coming "kid manager" can have outsized benefits from the "seasoned leader."

Who better to take a bet on you than someone who was given a similar opportunity recently? 

The "kid manager" who first recruited me to Uber (when it was a start-up) would say, 

"We are given responsibilities far greater than our experience." 

And it was true. Over time though, this fades as the company matures. "Seasoned leaders" are brought in, and you try not to let your age become a limiting factor. 

I've done all the tricks in the book to appear older at work. I've worn fake glasses, despite having perfect vision. I grew a beard (well, tried to) as I fought through some awkward patchy stages. Even in Kenya, I wore long sleeve collared shirts every day, choosing to uncomfortably sweat like an overweight Brooks Brothers model vs. wearing t-shirts and shorts like everyone else.

The tricks are temporary. The key is finding a manager who gives you the chance to "rise to the occasion." Look for those who others are taking bets on. Chances are they know a thing or two and can help you navigate the waters as well.  

To wrap it up - that "kid manager" who recruited me to Uber. Well, it was my second time working for him. In my first company, I searched for the guy others were taking bets on and ended up being the first employee he ever managed. When he left for Uber... guess who his first call was to? ;)

Let me leave you with a quote and question.

"Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don't."

-Bill Nye

Who are the high performers a few years older than you at work - what can you learn from them? 

Enjoy the dance,

Nate

In part 1, we talked about understanding what you truly want and not creating self-limitations on what that can be. For part 2, let's talk about the verse you finished your school paper with:

So you're thinking of your future

Your thinking of some old past

And it's your time to shine

So what you gonna go and leave behind?

It's powerful. It talks about being present and taking action. 

On being present, there is a quote I like:

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. It empties today of its strength."

On taking action, there is a poetic quote from Gandhi:

"Whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it's important that you do it anyway."

Now it would be easy to share some quotes and end the note saying, "Just follow your dreams, Brother." Life isn't that simple, though. Also, it would likely get you to stop opening up future emails from me, and I'm not quite ready to change the name to "Notes to my Mother." 

To give you some more practical advice, let me share with you a mental model that I've recently been using on some rather large life decisions related to "taking action." It's from Jeff Bezos, and it's called the regret minimization framework. 

You project yourself forward to when you'll be 80 and look back on life, wanting to have minimized the number of regrets you'll have.

For Bezos, he applied it in his early thirties when he had two options ahead of him. Continue a successful finance career or make the jump to start a company on the back of the internet craze. He concluded that he would not regret it if he tried and failed, but he might regret it if he never tried at all.

This framework goes beyond starting a company. For you, maybe it's moving to Colorado, asking that cute girl on a date, or taking a spontaneous trip ahead of you. 

For me, I've used it on large career moves, asking Katia on that first date, and much smaller items as well. 

Let me leave you with a quote and a question.

On your journey through life, make sure your biography has at least one extraordinary chapter.

-Unknown

In [X] years, will you regret not having done [Y]?

Enjoy the dance,

Nate

I dug out an old paper you wrote while you were in high school called "Gold Coast." You forgot to print it out the day it was due and called Mom to drive it to school for you. While it was printing, she was overcome with emotion as she read it. She decided to email it to me, even though it was a slight invasion of your privacy.

It's a powerful paper and something I'll cherish forever. At first glance, people would think it's about the effect I had on you growing up. If they look deeper, they'll realize it's about your introspection in creating your own path.

You wove lyrics from one of your favorite songs, "Gold Coast," as you described your journey. The first verse is powerful:

"So you'll run around your ego

You'll run around your gold coast

You know you got the time

Because this prison is our own design"

It talks about how individuals avoid going for what they truly want, and worse, make a prison of self-limiting beliefs that ultimately hold them back.

Early in my career, I looked up to a friend of mine from my fraternity who helped me land my first job at Intuit. He's a couple of years older than me and was a rockstar at work. I tried to emulate him as I wanted to achieve similar success.

I didn't hide my admiration. In my 1:1s with my manager, I would tell her, "I want to be like Will Dorsch." I made him my northstar of what I should try to achieve. One day she pulled me into her office and said, 

"Be better than Will Dorsch."

My jaw dropped as I sat there dumbfounded, trying to process what she just told me. Will was like an idol to me. What does she mean to be better than him? 

She helped me realize that I wasn't being true to myself —and by not being true to what I wanted, I put unnecessary self-limitations on what I could go and achieve. 

So it's interesting that around the same time I learned this lesson, my teenage little brother was already figuring it out. I've continued to learn over the years, though, that these self-limitations continue to emerge in different forms.

So the message, Brother, is that only you can limit yourself. Your capabilities are so much greater than what you think they are.

Let me leave you with a quote and a question.

"You can't put a limit on anything. The more you dream, the farther you get."

-Michael Phelps

What are the current limitations you are putting on yourself?

Enjoy the dance,

Nate