Red socks, green socks... "who cawes"

#7 - 11.01.20

Brother -

Today's letter is about not sweating the small stuff. You'll realize most things are trivial and not worth winning the argument, or letting it "eat your brain." With most advice, though, this is easier said than done. 

One of my favorite stories from Grandma is when she shares about the time she let me tag along with her and her girlfriends golfing. I was four years old. Golf, as you know, can rob you of mental energy. A lousy shot can be the start of ruining your round - or your entire day.

Grandma hit a lousy shot on this outing, exclaiming, "Oh no! This is the worst shot of my life". My response, "Who cawes Gramma" -- side note: I had a slight speech impediment, so it should read "Who cares, Grandma."

If only I had the same mental fortitude almost 30 years later. This past week I allowed my brain to be eaten due to a trivial matter at work. I knew it was insignificant. I tried to meditate it out, and yet it still lingered. It robbed me of my mental energy and even affected my sleep.

Then I remembered another trick I learned recently. Make fun of the situation. This can be done either through an analogous story you make up, or more devilishly - mean nicknames 😈. In the past, I've had nicknames for others along the lines of "Sensitive Stephen, or Half-assed Henry." In my mind, I'd exclaim - "Well, of course! This is just Sensitive Stephen acting up again. Wow, he can dish it out better than he can take it" -- exclaimer: these nicknames and stories should not be shared with your co-workers.

So here's my story I made up for myself this week: 

One day I put on socks. They were green. A fellow co-worker felt passionately about my specific sock color and asked me if I would put on red ones instead. Although I didn't fully understand this unique passion, I obliged. Then a different co-worker got upset. He really wanted me to wear green socks, and even went to my boss to complain. My boss asked me to explain my previous decision to switch to red socks. Irritated, I shared my logic while highlighting the insignificance of the matter. He shared feedback to me that he likes green socks more... 🧐

So guess what I did? I put back on the green socks. Then, I went back to running an actual business.

My sock choice is an analogy to a business decision, but the relative impact is probably the same. This episode infuriated me more than it should. I couldn't close the chapter on it, though, until I made up this story in my head and lightheartedly laughed it out with a friend.

So as I wrap this up - I'm going to give you a tactic. An upgrade to saying of "who cawes." This magic phrase is, "You're probably right." It ends most trivial matters while you still keep your integrity. You're not admitting your wrong, or that they are right - keyword is probably. Use it often - so you can spend your energy on more important things.

Let me leave with a quote and a question.

"Letting go doesn't mean forgetting, it just means we stop carrying the energy of the past into the present."

Yung Pueblo

What's something 'eats your brain' currently? Can you make up a story or nickname to help preserve your mental energy?

Enjoy the dance,

Nate